Organising Your Day
This is a new beginning for both of you, whether one or both of you have been married before. In terms of planning your wedding, the number of times you and your partner have been married really is irrelevant.
This is a new beginning for both of you, why get hung up on whether it’s your second or twenty-second (although that would be quite a record) shot at love? Being hung up on each other is what really counts. So make sure you plan a celebration that reflects you, your lifestyle and what you want.
Organising your Ceremony
Weddings today are not just about the joining of two people who love each other, it can also be a statement of their lifestyle or beliefs. The ceremony should be the most significant part of the wedding day.
Whatever style of ceremony you choose it should signify commitment and love. Therefore, you need to jointly decide what it represents to you. Do you want to witness your marriage before God or incorporate your own individual or cultural beliefs? This may mean a hybrid style or even two ceremonies. Basically, you need to choose between a religious or a civil ceremony.
Each religion will have its own views and rulings on marrying people who have been married before. If you hit some hurdles, don’t give up, get creative, there are many ways to achieve what you want.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
When planning your ceremony, decide if you want to write your own vows, include a special ceremony for the family, participate in any symbolic acts, traditions or customs, include your guests, remember loved ones (but it is not a second wedding etiquette to reference any deceased spouses), showcase any music, readings or prayers.
Do you want your ceremony to tell a story about you as a couple?
Think of your guests as your audience, involve them, inform them and let them share in your experience.
Make sure you are across all the legal requirements and notice periods required to marry in your choice of second wedding venues and location. This includes the registrar requirements and any venue permissions that need to be sought.
Unfortunately, a marriage license doesn’t come with a job description or a set of instructions.
There is definitely “some assembly required.” In fact, putting together a modern-day marriage can be likened to assembling an airplane in flight.
Patricia Love, The Truth About Love
Arranging your Reception
There are a huge amount of options available for holding receptions. The style of your second wedding venue and reception will reflect your budget, lifestyle, location, interests, number of guests you want to invite, time of day, season, weather and general age of guests.
Decide what style you want to go for, decide which of the five basic reception food styles suits your wedding plans. Link this to the time of day, season and size of wedding. Follow the tips provided in the eBook Plan2Organise if you are using professional staff. and be guided by second wedding etiquette described in the book.
If you are going for a ‘sit down’ style of reception, you will probably have the same challenges as first time couples, some things won’t change!
You may have a higher number of sensitive situations as well, so be aware of divorced couples, elderly aunts and large numbers of children. You’ll be more guided on the second wedding etiquette with the Plan2Organise eBook.
Never have tables just for children (think food fights). Grandparents are often more than happy to help supervise.
Work and communicate well with your venue management so you have exactly what you want, not what they ‘normally’ do.
It is also an opportunity to do some unconventional things. Maybe you cut the cake first or dispense with the formal announcements and meet your guests as they arrive, or have canapÃ©s with your guests before the ceremony begins. Have fun, make it your own, and make it special!
Speeches are still relevant, but can be tricky and should not be left to chance. The Father of the Bride speech may be redundant, as is toasting the bridesmaid’s by the Best Man. It may not even be possible to have a Best Man speech if your 10 year old boy stands up with his father.
People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife.
The rules are the same. Look for something you’ll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.