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Second Wedding Conflicts

Bride and groom.Congratulations, you’re getting married again and you’ll be arranging a very special event to celebrate! But what about second wedding conflicts and the dreaded etiquette matrons who will put demands on you!  Don’t worry we have many ideas to help you deal with what is likely to be thrown your way.

As you take on the journey to a new beginning through your second wedding, dealing with families at weddings is an area that you specially will want to pay attention to during your wedding preparation.

It is likely that you will be responsible for arranging everything that happens at your wedding and merging your families. So make sure you plan as much as you can for any potential second wedding conflicts that could occur for you.



I’m getting married because I’m in love with a girl and want to spend my life with her.
You can’t live your life doing what other people want you to or you’ll be miserable.
At some point you just have to be yourself.

Dan Marino


Make it Unique

surpiseEven if you really liked something from your last wedding, it is recommended to try something different this time. Otherwise it will not be special to both you and your partner. It will be just your luck for some guest who attended both weddings to comment at the most inappropriate time.

You may encounter more or different sensitivities that you need to be aware of about families and second weddings, children, parents, ex’s and shared friends, are just a few examples that can cause second wedding conflicts.

Second wedding etiquette is rapidly changing and now it is very common for the bride to wear white, quite normal for some form of gifts to be received (or donated to charities), there are a growing number of second weddings that have a large guest list and religious ceremonies are becoming allowed by more denominations.

However, many couples still opt for a smaller, more intimate affair that reflects their love that they want to celebrate.  However, some decide on a small affair to keep down the stress and avoid potential second wedding conflicts that could occur, based on their circumstances.

youngIf you have children you will want to involve them, but don’t be surprised if they are not as excited as you and lose interest quickly in all the planning.  They are also a primary source of second wedding conflicts.

Involving them in some of the key decisions that impact them will help.  This may include:, discussing with them what role they might play in the ceremony, or will they be attendants, and what about your plans are for a honeymoon etc.

They may also have some views on invitees, who they want to sit with, the music and entertainment,. So bring them along but don’t overwhelm them. Our signature product – Second Wedding Mastery covers Second Wedding Conflicts in great detail and there is a whole module dedicated to this subject.

Second Wedding Etiquette

There is a lot of duplication and contradictory advice on second wedding etiquette.  The most common type of answers being sought on etiquette are:

  • How to announce the engagement?
  • Do you tell the Ex and how?
  • Who can I invite and what about the Ex or their family?
  • Does the wedding have to be small?
  • Can the Bride wear white?
  • What should the invitations say?
  • What names should be used on the stationery?
  • How do I include children in the day?
  • Should we accept or register for gifts?
  • What about Shower parties and gifts?
  • What is the role of the Maid of Honour?
  • Who should walk the Bride down the aisle?
  • Who pays for this wedding?

Again, Second Wedding Mastery will answer all these questions throughout the twenty modules (videos, audios, workbooks) and extensive treasure chest of checklists, ideas and other resources that the products contains.


troubleshootingHere are some key pieces of advice that might help.

  • You must deal with potential second wedding conflicts well before the day. If your parents have expectations or uncertainty, treat them with kindness and sensitivity.
  • If you expect your children or family members to be difficult on the day have strategies and preventative measures to deal with this. Work together as a united front.
  • Ex-partners and in-laws (often a major cause of second wedding conflict ) need to be informed sensitively and face to face if possible, rather than hearing about your wedding from the children.
  • If you plan to invite a Ex, make sure your partner and their family are completely OK with this, as it is not usual practice.
  • If you decide on a very small or destination wedding, be prepared to give reasons to your family to avoid disappointment and hurt. If you plan to elope, think about the impact on those close to you.
  • Chances are you will have less time and it will have to be one of many ‘projects’ that you juggle in your life. Unlike first time brides where often the wedding becomes their sole purpose.  This in itself can cause a second wedding conflict or at least stress and struggles between couples, so don’t over-extend yourself.

Typically there are less expectations when it comes to second weddings. Although with the advent of reality TV, encore weddings are quickly catching up on encouraging couples to spend big on their ‘big’ day.



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