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Destination wedding bannerFor second marriages – Honeymoons seem to fall into two categories:

  • The holiday of a life time; or
  • A short break after the big day, and then back to reality (work, children, taxi driver, chores etc.)

Similarly for Destination Weddings, couples seem to either decide they want somewhere away from home but close enough for their family and friends to attend.  Or, they want to get right away to a special destination where the location is the primary guest.

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Whichever option you decide on, you need to be in full agreement and happy with your choice within the budget you have available.  If one of you has their heart set on the beach and the other the mountains, then one of you is going to feel they have ‘missed out’.  However, if you both go for your second choices, then no-one is really satisfied.

The answer is to put on the table exactly what both of you want, then work out how you can achieve enough of each of your desires so you don’t feel like one has had to compromise for the other.

To start with it pays to ask the question WHY!  Why are you set on a particular location or style?  Does the mountains really mean quiet and isolated and the beach equals active and vibrant?

For example: you might end up with a beach location, but if you decide on one that is quite remote and not a tourist mecca then the one who wanted peace and quiet should be more satisfied.

Also, a destination is not just about the vista, it’s about what happens when you get there, and even HOW you get there.  On top of that there are numerous other experiences that you will want to consider, including:

  • How much do you want to spend on the event itself, as well as day to day spending?
  • What style of accommodation do you want (luxury, modest, self-catering even camping)?
  • Do you want to stay in one place with all the facilities available e.g. a resort or a cruise, versus touring or multi-location sightseeing?
  • Do you want a getaway and do nothing style or an adventurous or busy style of break?
  • Even if you want a quiet getaway, what sort of activities do you want to do, sunbathing, reading, walking vs driving, water sports or hiking?
  • Do you want theme parks versus natural surroundings
  • What type of food experience do you want?
  • What are both of your interests, and will you want to pursue any of them as part of your vacation e.g. are you keen scuba divers or golfers?

If you are getting married for a second (or more) time and one or both of you have dependent children, then this adds a whole new set of decisions and complexities.

For example: Is there someone responsible who can look after them while you are away?  Will there be issues with your ex-partner (their biological parent) if you ask them to have them for extra time, or the children are going to stay somewhere that makes the usual parenting agreements temporarily unachievable.  What about school and after school commitments, or must you get married during school break so these aren’t an issue.

For many couples with families the easiest (and sometimes least traumatic) answer is to have a Familymoon, or put another way a family vacation instead of a Honeymoon. If you are going down that route, then you might want to include your kids in some of the decision about where you all go and what you are going to do when you get there.

However, make sure you and your partner have at least a basic idea of what you want, and how much you want to spend so you can set the boundaries to avoid disappointments.  It’s always easier to give 3 choices e.g. Disneyland, beach resort or 5 day cruise, rather than say “what do you want to do?” if you do decide on a Familymoon instead of a I, then you should actively consider the following,:

  • Can you at least have your wedding night away from the children
  • Is it possible to have a few days away and the kids join you part way through?
  • Could you bring someone with you e.g. a grandparent, to act as babysitter so you can get some alone time and wind down after all the wedding preparations.
  • To save costs, are there alternatives e.g. drive instead of fly, have self-catering accommodation instead of hotel or resort.
  • Cruising has become very affordable and can ‘tick’ many boxes, especially if you need to have a Familymoon.
  • Can you do house swaps or AirBNB style arrangements

Its very hard to think of all the options without doing a lot of research.  That is why Love2Last weddings has put together a great worksheet that helps you with the questions you should be asking to work out what you REALLY want. Why not download the worksheet it is absolutely FREE.  Just click on one of the boxes above or below. 

The worksheet is in three parts:

Parts 1 & 2 are for each of you to complete separately to really think what it is that will be a perfect Honeymoon for you, within the budget you have available.  This is NOT a fantasy exercise to manifest your dreams!

Part 3 is for you both to collate your answers and see where the similarities and differences are.  Anything over 7/10 means that you are pretty much in agreement and it is high on your priority list. 

It is Part 3 that will help you to craft something that is meaningful to both of you. If you are planning an overseas Honeymoon or Destination Wedding we have also included a list of countries for you to consider.

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Quite honestly, the skies the limit and you can do whatever you want, and there are certainly an abundance of resources available to help you to research and book your final decision.

The trick is to work out what you want first, before spending hours scouring the Internet or visiting a travel consultant. Well good luck, and don’t forget to download the FREE Worksheet to make life and your decision a LOT simpler.  

This is just one small piece of advice that can be found in Love2Last Wedding’s Second Wedding Mastery signature product.  It contains everything you need to organize a wedding when it isn’t yours (or your partner’s) first.  Check it out by clicking the icon above.  It’s a treasure trove of information all in one place. 

We’ve done all the research, all you need to do is make the decisions and then put them into action.

Author and experienced coach, Gillian Andale is the owner of Love2Last Weddings which is dedicated to assist second time (encore) grooms and brides as they prepare for a truly memorable binding of hearts and families. She is also the force behind Love2Last, the global coaching and resource centre for couples who have found love again, want a new beginning and aim to strengthen and grow their relationship as well as their blended families. Visit www.love2last.co to browse and see the wealth of information available.

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