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By Gillian Andale

Second Wedding Myths ExposedIf you haven’t realised yet, your second wedding is going to be very different from your first.  However, there are still some lingering second wedding myths that we want to debunk for you right now.

I didn’t realise just how different second weddings really were until I decided to remarry. Leading up to my first wedding my mother and sister did a lot of the behind the scenes organising. When it came to marrying my second husband, Steve, it was a whole different ball game. In fact, as we soon discovered, we were the only ones playing! As a couple, we were responsible for every decision and if we didn’t organise something then it simply wouldn’t get done.  We also realised there were lots of second wedding myths that we had to overcome.

In embarking on your own journey, you’ll also notice many differences from the first time you said “I do”. There may be a change in the roles people play – for instance, a son might give his mother away or be the best man to his dad – or you might dispense with formal roles altogether. Some changes will be positive while others will simply reflect the different stage you’re at in your life.

Like any major milestone in a person’s life, however, you’ll come across a lengthy list of so-called do’s and don’ts aimed at governing every aspect of your encore wedding.

Following are some common second wedding myths you’re bound to encounter and the best way to confront them:

Myth #1 – A Second wedding should follow a strict protocol

#Hint – Throw out the rule book! How, when and where you’ll celebrate your wedding is entirely up to you. There is no reason why you cannot have a traditional white wedding if that’s what you want. Or you may go for something completely different – either casual, on location, big or very small. Hold a huge bash or invite a few friends over for a beachside ceremony/breakfast. Keep in mind that most wedding “do’s and don’ts” are simply traditions built up over time – so plan to start a few of your own!

Myth #2– A Second weddings is complicated

#Hint – Enjoy your freedom! Okay, encore weddings can be a little tricky – especially if there are children, family and ex’s to consider – but let’s face it, every wedding, whether it’s your first or fifth, can throw up moments to tax even the most well-honed diplomacy skills.

During the research for my Encore weddings eBooks series, I discovered that many people regarded their second wedding as more meaningful, fun and less stressful than their first. For a start, there wasn’t the same pressure to conform to the wedding industry’s ideal of the perfect event complete with veils, expensive salon visits and a host of attendants. Many second weddings are informal, warm and friendly with an emphasis on close family ties and long-held friendships.

Myth #3 – A Second wedding should be subdued

#Hint – Celebrate your love! What’s so sad about the above myth is that so many couples buy into it. Let’s be realistic, it’s not every day you stumble across true love. If it were that easy it just wouldn’t be special, right? Finding the real Mr or Mrs Right for you (despite the disappointment of any past relationship) is absolutely the right reason to throw a party.

Bottom line – The second wedding myths are designed by people who want to appear as ‘experts’ and most of the time don’t understand why people choose to marry again.  Whatever you and your partner want from your wedding, go ahead and have it, and above all – enjoy it together. This is your chance to stamp your own personalities on your second wedding day and, above all, have FUN!


Author and experienced coach, Gillian Andale is the owner of Love2Last Weddings which is dedicated to assist second time (encore) grooms and brides as they prepare for a truly memorable binding of hearts and families. She is also the force behind Love2Last, the global coaching and resource centre for couples who have found love again, want a new beginning and aim to strengthen and grow their relationship as well as their blended families. Visit to browse and see the wealth of information available.



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